Tom Cruise

I loved waking up to this headline today:

-Take a Ride on TomKat's Love Train-Tom Cruise Proposes to Katie Holmes.

Wow this guy has fallen off as fast as anyone other than Kobe. He will be doing
CSI: Kokomo in two years.

Common, Lakers and Dodgers

I went to the Common show Monday at the House of Blues. Of the 3 or 4 times I've seen him, it wasn't his strongest effort, but still very good.

Some highlights:

-Before he did the Corners, he mentioned some famous corners of LA like La Cienega. The stomping ground of LA hip-hoppers like Bob Koch.

-Gary Shandling was next to me in line to get in. Interesting fan base. It was weird, it was a Monday, but by far the most crowded I have ever seen HOB. Prince was there.

-No Kanye, but there was MC Lyte song....only a slight let down. Jay-Dee (Not Jermaine Dupri) came out and did a verse from #12 from on Like Water For Chocolate. I had never seen him before but he is 5'4 14 yr old boy...look exactly like Bethuel in 8th grade.

-Did standard Common type things like Pharcyde's Passin Me By and I used to love her over T.R.O.Y.

-After he did The Light he went off stage acting like it was over, while the crowd yelled for like 4 minutes. It was completely black and two figures walk back on stage (u thought it was Common and theDJ)...it was Dave Chappelle and Chris Rock. Chappelle said some chappelle things, and then said Common is about to do my favorite two songs, he rolled out and did the Food and 6th Sense, while they sat on a couch he had on stage.

The craziest thing about all of this is that Common has the #1 album in America. How is this possible??? For how great he is, the guy has been flying under the radar for over 10 years. You want to feel happy for the guy that he is finally having success, but takes a way a little of the luster of being a fan of when the masses don't know about it. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if my mom buys the album. Whether right or wrong, its human nature to be a bit more passionate about the artist when you are in a minority of people that knows a great secret. Now, when I was at the concert, this girl we were with said pre-show, "im so excited for Common, I love them so much." Um, ok. Either way, the new album is a classic and takes you back 10 years when hip-hop was incredible and you could put in Nas "Illmatic" or Common's "Resurrection" and listen to the whole thing without skipping at all.

-BC lives in San Diego and is going to the show later in the week, the best he is getting is Natrone Means and Gary Templeton during the encore.

-Check this out: http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=9673
Passes to the man...this is what would happen if one of us became a Sports Center host.

-Entourage is back on and much better than last season. Gaysion Lloyd was my favorite Jeremy Piven line in a tremendous night of work for him last Sunday. Most improable scene last night was Jaime Pressly having an indie project that anyone discussed without laughing.

-I don't get this whole Danica Patrick phenomenon, she is driving a car...actually I get it now.

-I made eye contact with Hee-Seop Choi at the Dodger game last week and he threw a ball towards me, unfortunately it ended up 10 ft to the right in my friend Ryan's hands. Bad luck for me, not a good omen for the Dodger defense. Still, 6 home runs in one weekend for a guy who made contact 6 times all last season is a miracle.

-So, the Lakers have the 10th pick in a draft without any true franchise players but a ton of depth. Ideally, I would try to trade up for Deron Williams, a winning basketball player that really has no comparison currently in the league. You can cross trading up for Andrew Bogut off your list, because he already said he hates Kobe. When a college player is talking shit about him, it really shows you how far he has fallen. Guys I would pick if they stay at #10: Ike Diogu (dominated the Pac-10 for 3 straight years), Sean May (so he is a little fat, he'll be a great bench player) or Channing Frye (7ft and can hit a 15fter). Also, apparently Nate Robinson and Salim Stoudamire are slipping to the mid 2nd round????? Chucky Atkins starts in the NBA!!! What are these teams thinking. Get on the Clipper bandwagon while you still can. They have 3 guys over 6'10 that are as good as Chris Mihm to go along with Maggette, Brand and hopefully Simmons. Shaun Livingston is the next superstar in LA.

-The Oakland A's are reportedly shopping Eric Chavez....I know he isn't playing as well this season and makes 10 million a year but he has a slick glove and Depodesta picked him over one of the top 5 players in baseball (Tejeda) so he clearly likes him. I would do Antonio Perez and Edwin Jackson in a heartbeat or whatever other prospects they may want...to bad our owner is broke. Anyone else that can save our season? Barry Zito? Steve Garvey?

-When is the sequel to Moneyball coming out. Moneyball 2: This doesn't really work unless you have Hudson, Mulder and Zito.

-Depodesta offered Beltre to the Padres before last season for Sean Burroughs and a minor league arm...yikes. JD Drew is starting to hit a little bit, but he approaches the game like Brett Butler, not Mike Piazza.
On the flip side, Jose Lima hasn't retired 2 batters in a row all season, Mota lost the closers job in Florida and Adrian Beltre has 37 k's and only 8bbs this year.

BC:

-Women's Softball has to be the worst sport of all time.

-That ending to the Common show is pretty incredible. I am going tomorrow night in San Diego. I'm not anticipating the same celebrity fan base. At the end of the show, I'm hoping Tony Gwynn comes on stage and says that his favorite song is "love train" by the Spinners. Best we could possibly hope for in San Diego. Have you seen Gwynn recently? He does the padres games a couple of times a week--pushing 4 bills. Can't even use the phrase "let himself go". I've let myself go. He's started eating people.

-My new favorite commercial is the Xmsr commercial for MLB. The one with
war "why cant we be friends" in the background. The guy at the airport cracks me up so much. First, he is wearing an angels carpet. Second, he is wearing a Styrofoam Angels finger. Have
you ever seen anyone at the airport wearing either of those things? If
I did I don't know what I 'd do. Then, he looks over at Cal Ripken and gives him the dirtiest, meanest mug of all time. Like the kind of look Chucky Atkins must give Kobe
whenever Kobe turns his back. Can you imagine looking at Cal Ripken
like that? Then Cal shows him the xmsr and the guy backs down. That
scene is too much for me.

-The NBA finals is a joke, nothing more to say...plus no one cares.

Random Thoughts

MB:

-I seriously started doing the running man when I heard Jose Valentin was out for the year. Only reason the guy leads the league in pitches seen per AB (Moneyball) is that he strikes out every time. Going to Dodger games right now is like playing Russia Roulette. They have $2 seats and no enforcement of parking lot tailgating rules. If Norihito Nokamura isn't murdered by a deranged fan from the RF pavilion, I will be shocked.

-For those who haven't seen it, the season finale of Surreal Life 4 yields one of the great moments in TV history. Verne Troyer and Marcus Schkenberg professing their love for each other and crying while hugging was off the charts. At one point, Marcus compares their relationship as a modern day Batman and Robin. An aging 1980s male supermodel and a 29 inch midget.

-You know you have problems when it takes you days to get over President Bush's speech preempting The OC.

-With Star Wars poised to break records this weekend, I was looking at the all-time box office list. Bruce Almighty was #44 all time!!!. Is that a joke? Where is Along Came Polly? Where is The Majestic?
For the record, i actually loved Along Came Polly.... Raindance!

-I know he is banged up, but when did Jermaine O'neal become Michael Olowakandi. It's a tribute to Rick Carlisle that the Pacers made it this far with Beetlejuice Anthony Johnson in their rotation. I have to admit that I'm very sad about Reggie Miller retiring. Definitely my favorite NBA player over the course of my life. Other than MJ, he was the most clutch player of our generation. Guy scored 25,000 points at a skinny and unathletic 6'7. He gave me my most memorable nba tv moment with the 25 pt 4th quarter against the knicks in the 1994 playoffs. Guys like Scottie Pippen and Clyde Drexler get more love among the non-Jordan, Magic, Birds....but Reggie was my favorite. Guy was dying for a title but didnt sell out to the Lakers or Spurs the way Malone, Alonzo, Payton etc etc did.

-Lakers have no cap room, but Earl Watson and Kwame Brown are two fairly cheap free agents that have upside.

-If the Clips re-sign Bobby Simmons, they will make the playoffs next year. From first hand experience I know that is not a lock. Their owner is worth 500 million dollars and traded tickets for his new business cards.

-I know BC feels strongly about this, but let me add something about the Piazza experience. Its quite humorous, baserunners have started moonwalking to second when they steal against him.


BC:

Not much going on. Best games to play at a bar? Had a nice night of darts playing, that was fun, and sparked some debate. I loveshuffleboard, but a lot of people don't.

I think poker on tv has jumped the shark. They were running local pokertourneys on the local station last night for a top prize of $5000. Too much. World series once a year, don't need the non-hold em tourney(world series of poker--razz was over the top last year).

I don't know if anyone waswatching the Sonics-Spurs series, but did you see Vlad Radmonovic? The mullet, and hoop earing and beard--he looked like either George Michael in the Faith video, Van Damme in the movie with Rosanna Arquete, or Ryan Smiley in 7th grade.

I wore a pink long sleeve polo to work a month ago and a lot of peoplemade fun of me. Anyway, today i went to charles schwab to deposit acheck, and the woman behind the counter is pretty hot. Anyway, as soonas i walked in, she goes "hot shirt". I told her the story about peoplemaking fun of me, and she goes again, "no way, that shirt is hot". Sweet vindication.

- I was outraged by college football approving a 12th game. They say no playoff b/c season is toolong, but now including bowls its 13 games. 1-AA playoff is 15 but thatis only if you reach the championships, most teams would play less thanthat. Really hypocritical in my view. And how long are the nba playoffs. Hard to use the "It's the playoffs"line to justify watching after your girlfriend finds out that there are 16 more rounds of playoffs left.

-I saw some stat a few weeks ago that Mike Piazza had thrown out 1-17 runners.
Its probably doubled since then. The game i saw he rolled a ball out to second. Could have timed
that throw with a sun dial. Runner could have taken third if he hadn't been laughing.

The jerry buss thing just really gets me. Shaq won titles. Phil Jackson won
titles. Say whatever you want about them, but they put up banners and
made you a lot of money. Show a little class. That would be like jerry
buss calling magic fat, or telling jablunt to spark one up and get out. How is possible that he dated Brooke Burke. Now if kobe starts talking I may completely lose it.
Why would jackson want to come back to the lakers? That is pure hubris,
you couldn't pay me any sum of money to be around kobe or lamar odom
next year. Not b/c i dislike lamar, i like him, but at some point lamar
odom is going to go sprewell. Only a matter of time.

-Check out the cast for this new Fox Show...Bobby Sags is back:
How I Met Your Mother: This romantic comedy that unfolds via flashbacks stars Jason Segel (Freaks and Geeks), Alyson Hannigan (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Neil Patrick Harris (Doogie Howser, M.D.) and Josh Radnor (Not Another Teen Movie), with Wonder Years-ish voiceovers by Bob Saget (Full House).

Some Stuff

-Charley Steiner has had a rough first week as the new Dodgers play by play voice on radio. After Edgardo Alfonzo of the Giants got a hit, Steiner had this to say. "Wow, Alfonzo is hot, that hit makes 12/25 on the season. You dont have to be Stephen B. Hawking to know thats .500." Hmm....ok.

-This is the worst line we've ever read from a letter to George Bush in a newspaper regarding throwing out the first pitch on opening day for the new Washington Nationals.:

"That said, don't be overconfident. You'll probably be encumbered by body armor. Thousands of fans and VIPs will be looking on. And while you likely are our most athletic president – apologies to Gerald Ford – you were a self-described "mediocre middle reliever" on the Yale freshman baseball team. "

Gerald Ford was an all-American football player at Michigan. George Bush was a cheerleader in high school.


-Check out the this little verbal battle behind new South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier and Tennessee coach Phil Fulmer:

"The coaches' verbal dueling dates back to Spurrier's days at Florida, when he would poke fun at the Volunteers with legendary barbs like "You can't spell Citrus without UT," referring to the four appearances the Volunteers made in the Citrus Bowl while Spurrier was racking up six SEC titles and the 1996 national championship.
"That doesn't bother me one bit," Fulmer said. "He's got plenty to do, I'm sure. Maybe it rained that day and he didn't get to play golf. I don't know."
When told of Fulmer's retort, Spurrier laughed and said there were no hard feelings.
''I like ol' Phil. Phil's all right,'' Spurrier told The State of Columbia, S.C. ''He's a good guy. We get along fine. It's no big deal. & I'm glad he said something. I'm glad he's listening to us. In the past, I don't think he'd worry about what a South Carolina coach said, do you?''

Random Thoughts

-Our fantasy baseball team is horrible. Two weeks ago neither of us had heard of Daniel Cabrera and now he is one of our best starting pitchers. This must be how Kobe feels about Chucky Atkins and Tierre Brown.

-The shot by Tiger Woods on 16 was probably the best golf shot we've ever seen. The best part of that was the awkward high second high five between him and his caddy. That five convinced us that golf is probably not a real sport. You don't see baseball players doing that. Speaking of fives, it would be great if tiger or any golfer busted out some sort of long five ritual with his caddy like baseball players have after a homerun.

-I've begun to see pick up Dodgeball games in my neighborhood.

-Did the Dodgers really start the year with Scott "Dennis Quaid" Erickson and Elmer Dessens in their rotation. A 95 million dollar payroll doesn't buy what in once did. You really cant get that excited about the Dodgers even when Jose Valentin tells us after a big come from behind win that there is something special about this team. What "special" teams has Jose Valentin been on to justify this comment. That's like Kobe telling me he really likes the lakers chemistry. Even if its true we're not buying it.

-Shouldn't there be a rule that you can't win the Wooden award if you have never heard of John Wooden? I don't buy the whole, "We don't follow basketball in Australia" excuse.

-Ben's tivo is broken right now. It's rough. I've been telling people and I get the most heartfelt "sorry's". Telling people your Tivo is broken is probably on par with saying a relative died. I haven't had this much sympathy from people in years.

-Go see Fever Pitch if only for the scene when the gay guy from Sex and the City does the running man in a full Red Sox jersey and new balances for tickets.

-You have serious issues when you've watched so much Surreal Life you begin to think Chyna is hot.

-I was watching Groundhog Day last night on AMC, where they run facts about the movie at the bottom of the screen. I'm a huge fan of this, but one of my co-workers thinks its stupid. I think they should do this for everything. How much better would that new show Grey's Anatomy be, if they ran facts about Patrick Dempsey. How old is dempsey? He was like 30 in "cant buy me love". He is the only actor I can think of off the top of my head that looks younger than he did 20 years ago.

-I play basketball with Kato Kaelin and like the guy a lot, but how in the world did he get into the Jerry Buss's suite, the night Phil Jackson was there? Can you imagine Jerry brainstorming that afternoon about who to invite to impress Phil and coming up with Kato? Was Carrot Top not available?

ROTO BASEBALL DRAFT DIARY

Neishler and Okun get in a pre-draft morning workout.


Chapman and I have been playing around with an LA Sports Blog for the past few months and have decided to give it a try. Due to Ben's status as a first year lawyer and the end of my run with the Show/Clippers and foray into Commercial Real Estate, this will not be a daily thing. We should have new material at least a few days a week but consistency will not be our hallmark. Other than ranting after UCLA lost a few weeks back, this Roto Diary will serve as the starting point. And what a place to start. Our annual Rotisserie Baseball draft needed a home and Todd Hasson obliged by walking across the street and opening up his parents Beverly Hills compound.

12:00 Michael Nussbaum-Croft presides over his first draft as commissioner. The best way to describe this would be the analogy that this league is like a season of Project Greenlight. The powers that be got together and decided, let’s put the guy in charge that always asks who to pick and never wins and see the inevitable train wreck that transpires. Give the keys to an inexperienced director and just get out of the way. Let’s just hope Nuss fares better than Director John Gulager on the current Bravo edition of Greenlight.

12:01 Nussbaum makes a futile attempt to explain the league finances to Stone. After a few minutes, it is still unclear to all how much the site costs versus what the pot is.

12:10 There is growing sentiment to have the draft outside, in order to enjoy a perfect Southern California day and the vast seating afforded at Casa de Los Monos. Nussbaum puts a quick cabosh on this idea because he is wearing a thick polyester Dwight Gooden jersey. No word on whether he'll try to draft him later.

12:15 Todd walks in from the kitchen and offers Okun a wingy.

12:17 I announce to the room that Gagne was put on the DL last night. Most already know this fact, but Friedman asks, "Who?” I reply, Fred Gagne, middle relief, Philadelphia. Friedman notes this tidbit and gives me a little head nod as thanks.

12:19 The draft begins. In a room full of lawyers, law students and general intelligence, no one can figure out how to use the speaker phone so the NY contingent can hear. Nussbaum passes this responsibility over to Corleto. Lack of delegation killed those guys on the Battle of Shaker Heights. Point for Nuss.

12:22 A mini argument breaks out between Koch and Nussbaum over how soon Barry Bonds will be returning. Nuss thinks he is coming back soon and Koch whines in disgust. Shoot me now.

12:25 Neishler walks in late and looking very svelte. Must be the morning swim. Has anyone ever managed to figure out why Neish has been late for every single draft we have ever had? Did he lose his Thomas Guide? Does Okun give him the wrong start time, so he can pretend he actually contributes something with that first pick?

12:30 Pizza arrives, Hasson orders the ever popular, never tasty Pepperoni, Onion and Garlic pizza, aka vomit in a box. Block nods in approval...the buffoons are in sync.

12:37 Mid way through round 3, Neishler picks Carlos Delgado. Jay, dealing with the bad phone connection, asks if Eddie Guardado was selected without any sarcasm. I guess Everyday Eddie gets good press in NYC.

2:45 Todd and Justin select Hideki Matsui and piss off his many other suitors. Neishler notes, "I like Matsui. He is very disciplined. Very Disciplined."

12:55 Early round 5, Elliot "No relation to Todd or Stone for that matter" Hassen pulls the trigger on aging 1980s ace Brad Radke. Did I fall asleep? Is it now Round 24? Thank you for money and please drive home safely. Elliot and his partner huddle and discuss if its too early for Jason Grabowski in round 6.

1:00 I ask the room when Todd and Justin would make their first slip up after a solid start. Justin obliges instantly with Magglio Ordonez and his bone on bone knee. The room chastises them and mocks his contract. A buffoon team members replies that the contract is "incentive laden". Shock overcomes everyone at this fact/vocabulary display.

1:10 Todd picks Javy Lopez 3 rounds after he was already selected. Sweet memories of the Samuel Dalembert/Vlade Divac fiasco from basketball come flooding back. It’s much too early to be dozing off dreaming about whether Goldstein is on Instant Messenger.

1:20 People begin discussing betting on the Final 4. Stone makes a comment about Koch's recent frugalness regarding his unwillingness to make a $5 bet. Koch comes with a quick retort about not everyone making 100k a year. Stone responds with, "yeah and not all of us have a $75,000 car." Koch with his usual sharp wit comes with. "Yeah I didn’t pay for it." I jump in with a quick, "yeah Stone... he got you!" Koch comes at me with a, "how is your part-time Clipper job."
I guess 2 internships and a 4 week stint at the producers guild makes Koch a modern day Caesar Chavez. We also find it funny that the combined net worth of everyone in that room is $25 yet the combined net worth of possible inheritance is $25 million. Unprecedented collection of people. This room alone ends Jewish conspiracy stories.

1:24 Neishler farts and clears out the Northwest corner of the room. Okun says they should fly him over Iraq.

1:27 Okun gives a head massage to Nussbaum, whose head might explode after taking 8 minutes on his 12th round pick. Okun claims that the ladies love when he does it to them. I’m sure that list is long and distinguished.

1:30 Okun announces he is leaving for a wedding and to go pick up his tux. He leaves us with the line of the day, "I don't look good in a tux...I have an irregular neck."

1:35 Ray Durham is picked. Elliot claims that his friend Jenna Jacobsen gave him head when the Giants were in Tucson for Spring Training. The silence is deafening.

1:36 Mike Hampton is selected. Elliot has an anecdote for him as well. "I know him, he broke my friends' bong". MIKE HAMPTON. At what point do you know everybody in the country when you have a "Mike Hampton broke my friends' bong" story. Too Much.

1:40 Nussbaum asks who Noah Lowry is.

1:41 Nussbaum asks who Danny Haren is.

1:42 Nussbaum asks who Nick Swisher is.

1:48 People begin to discuss the lovely Anna Benson, wife of Kris. Corleto claims that she said she would let Willie Randolph fuck her raw dog in the ass if she caught Kris cheating...lovely.

1:53 Buffoons select Jermaine Dye in round 24. Audible groan in the room as everyone seems to be targeting him there....first time that has ever happened for Todd and Justin.

1:58 Neishler picks Mike Liberthal 9 rounds after he was already selected. "Fuck Free World" he says in disgust.

2:01 Birthday boy Ryan Smiley turns ghost white and begins to sweat. A few hours without some sort of movement is driving him crazy. Cliff Floyd is picked by another team. Stone is furious because a weakened Smiley had mistakenly crossed him off their list. Hey Ryan, step into Stone's office.

2:07 Elliot announces that he had met some Georgia bitches the night before. Corleto asks if they were from Georgia of the former Soviet Union.

2:10 Ezor picks Johnny Damon because Blatt thinks he is cute.

2:20 Friedman leaves the draft with 2 rounds left to go pick out wedding bands. Unprecedented. Does his name automatically change to Doug Christie?

2:45 Finally it ends. I can't wait for football.

MB/BC

UCLA One and Done

Jordan Farmar's Freshmen Year Ends Early.

After two straight losing seasons, the UCLA basketball program seems to be headed in the right direction lead by newly minted PAC 10 FOY Jordan Farmar and another Top notch recruiting year. The season came to an abrupt end, when Bobby Knight and his Texas Tech squad bounced UCLA on their way to the Sweet 16. Here is a breakdown of this year's team, with an eye towards 2005-2006. Based upon the commitments Ben Howland has already received, it's 2006-07 squad looks like it could be the team that final rescues the program from the legendary Steve Lavin years.

Dijon Thompson (Sr.): Scored points this game but in the end of the day, didn't put the team on his back the way Ronald Ross did for TT. Dijon had a phenomenal senior year, although he didn't maximize what he could have been. Should find a niche at the next level with his smooth offensive game.

Brian Morrison (Sr.): We haven't been happier that UCLA player is graduating in a long time. As far as the TT game, it seemed as though the injury was bothering him as he pulled a Tony from Blue Chips with his defense tonight. Wow, it was horrific. Anyone who tivod the game, take a look at him attempting to stay with their guards in the first half.

Jordan Farmar (Fr.): Love the kid, but he didn't show up and made some brutal decisions in his first NCAA appearance. His turnover when down 4 and missed 27ft 3 when down 6 were critical mistakes. We hope this motivates him to work hard over the summer. Jordan could use 10 pounds of muscle to go along with superb quickness and great court vision.

Arron Afflalo (Fr): Hmmm, our take on him is that he would be the ideal 6 man for the next 4 years. Best defensive player on the team, decent shooter, can finish but not overly athletic as far as getting to and playing above the rim. That being said, laid as big an egg as Farmar did against TT.

Josh Shipp (Fr.): Can we buy stock in Josh Shipp will be top 5 in the Pac 10 in scoring at some point in his career. Dude is just uncanny with his ability to score, esp at important times. We cannot wait to see Josh develop over the next four years, especially when he loses some of his baby fat.

Matt McKinney (So.): Steve Lavin's final f**k you, ran around for a few minutes and did nothing...Standard.

The Michael Fey/ Ryan Hollins experience (Jr/Jr.): Can someone convince Fey that the NBA needs a another 7'1 stiff and have him go pro. It baffles us that Howland gives Fey more time and seemingly respect than Hollins. We watched the game with a few non-ucla fans that hadn't seen the team play much this year and they couldn't fathom that Fey gets more time than Hollins. Hollins actually took advantage of his height advantage and played aggressive. He also made a very heady foul when the game was still tight that saved a break away layup. We think Hollins took the early lead in the battle to be worst starter next season.

Look at for Ryan Wright or Alfred Aboya to come in next season and seize the starting PF spot. Also, the return of Cedric Bozeman should improve the teams defense and ballhandling.